Confession: I never wanted kids.
Not in the way other women talk about it.
There was no biological tug.
No longing.
No imagined nursery.
Nothing.
I wanted freedom.
Adventure.
Choice.
Years of traveling the world and building my business from a suitcase.
The kind of independence that let me wake up in a new country and say yes to whatever I felt that day.
I loved being an aunt.
Drop in for a few days.
Do something magical.
Disappear back into my life.
That version of family fit me.
But the universe has a sense of humor.
And it also has a way of expanding us into roles we never thought to claim.
The Buy One, Get Three Free Bonus Package
When I was finally ready in my forties to open myself to a real partnership, I was very intentional.
I asked for someone who loved freedom.
Loved travel.
Understood entrepreneurship.
Someone who would never try to tame me.
A few weeks later, I met him.
And with him came three children.
A package deal.
A beautiful surprise.
A completely different path than the one I had scripted.
He was upfront from day one.
He was looking for a life partner, yes, but he was also a father.
A committed one.
Then life shifted again.
The same week we met, he unexpectedly became the full-time custodial parent of two of his kids.
Overnight.
From seeing them every other weekend to raising them full-time while balancing a demanding job with international travel.
You can imagine the upheaval.
Within months, he had secured a nanny, legal proceedings were underway, and I found myself stepping into a version of responsibility I had never imagined.
No one asked me to.
But the truth was simple.
If I wanted this relationship to evolve, I needed to be present.
I needed to be available.
I needed to show up in a way my previous life had never required.
The First Real Redesign
At the time, my business was thriving.
Multiple six figures.
A team of five.
High-touch client work.
Hours of strategy calls.
Deep involvement in other people’s businesses.
It was beautiful work.
It was also a lot of hours.
Suddenly, I was staying with two young girls while my partner traveled.
Navigating routines, emotions, responsibilities, and stability.
A role I cared about more than I expected.
I did not want to be the woman behind a closed door every day.
Unavailable.
Too busy.
Too overcommitted to give the attention required to build trust with children navigating an uncertain chapter of their lives.
So I made a decision.
A strategic one.
A grounded one.
A compassionate one.
I scaled down.
Released clients.
Shrank my team.
Freed time.
Created space.
And I began shifting the architecture of my business.
Fewer operational-heavy engagements.
More strategy only.
More straightforward coaching.
More asynchronous support that did not demand hours on Zoom.
More offers designed to work around family life, not against it.
I did not abandon my financial goals.
But I did release the pressure for constant growth.
I re-evaluated what I actually wanted to earn.
What quality of life I wanted to maintain.
How much money I needed for travel, for spaciousness, for joy.
I did not lower my standards.
I simply redefined the rules I had been operating under.
A new season requires a new business model.
This was my first redesign.
Phase Two: Moving In and Moving Through
A year into our relationship, after months of navigating two cities, it became clear that the next step was living together.
He moved with his daughters to my city.
We found a four-bedroom home.
A new chapter.
One daughter stayed with her mom and brother.
One came with us.
A teenage girl in a brand new environment.
New school.
New friends.
New routines.
Her father still traveled.
I became the consistent presence at home.
The steady one.
The one she could rely on.
During this season, my business stayed intentionally small.
Coaching only.
Low maintenance, long-standing clients who were easy to support because of years of trust.
A business that felt light.
A business that did not drain me.
A business aligned with the emotional demands of this chapter.
I was not under-earning.
I had simply optimized for the life I was living.
And I poured the reclaimed time into art.
Into healing.
Into relationships.
Into becoming the version of myself this new season required.
Phase Three: When Life Expands Again
Then the next shift came.
My partner left his job to become an entrepreneur.
His daughter graduated and began university.
And just like that, the financial landscape shifted.
I became the only consistent income for a time.
Tuition.
Private schools.
Family needs.
A growing household.
A new entrepreneurial chapter for him.
Suddenly, increasing revenue mattered.
And I felt ready.
Not pressured.
Not scared.
Ready.
I reopened my client roster.
I launched new offerings.
I leaned into the foundations I had built over the years.
And the business expanded again.
Easily.
Efficiently.
Beautifully.
Five figure months returned.
But without the grind.
Without the overwhelm.
Without the frenetic energy I had once associated with success.
This season was about optimization, not hustle.
More systems.
More automation.
More delegation.
More strategic use of my time.
More alignment with the vision I had re-rooted into.
And the most surprising part of this chapter was not the revenue.
It was who I was becoming.
Becoming a Model of Possibility
These kids…
They watch everything.
They watch how I work.
How I travel.
How I manage my time.
How I make decisions.
How I lead myself.
They see a woman with freedom and flexibility.
A woman who supports herself.
A woman who frequently travels internationally.
A woman who runs a business she enjoys.
A woman who does not sacrifice her passions to be part of a family.
They do not yet understand the ins and outs of my work.
But they feel the energy of it.
The possibility of it.
And for girls raised in a culture that tells them to find a provider rather than become one,
This is a paradigm shift.
The oldest began dreaming differently.
The youngest started imagining entrepreneurial paths she never knew existed.
And I realized something powerful.
My desires and financial goals were no longer only about me.
They were about expanding what was possible for them, too.
This is leadership.
Not in business, but in life.
Why I Am Sharing This Story With You
Not because you are a stepmom.
Not because your life looks like mine.
But because your life will change.
Your relationships will change.
Your identity will change.
Your responsibilities will change.
And when that happens,
your business must shift with you.
It is not a failure to redesign.
It is maturity.
It is wisdom.
It is leadership.
I have walked women through seasons of divorce
seasons of caregiving
seasons of motherhood
seasons of grief
seasons of growth
seasons of reinvention.
The shape of your business can change without losing its power.
You can earn more without giving everything away.
You can create space without sacrificing success.
You can thrive without burning out.
You just need a redesign.
One that matches the life you are actually living.
And the woman you are becoming.
Katrina Cobb is a Business Architect for high-achieving women founders scaling beyond $250K. She helps leaders redesign the architecture of their business — systems, structure, team, and profitability — so growth feels spacious, sustainable, and deeply aligned.
Explore her work at katrinacobb.com.